We are hitting the wedding season in UK and the western world, with warm weather helping to bring people together in an atmosphere of colour, ceremony, mutuality and hope. Weddings today are increasingly inter-faith and inter-cultural, if not among the couple, then in the audience, where friends and colleagues from all backgrounds are invited and overjoyed to experience the colour and the music.
From my perspective as a scholar and educator, this is a unique opportunity to advance the understanding of our Dharmic wisdom – we have a captured audience, a meaningful ritual and a chance to bridge and empower the attendees to new levels of respect, tolerance and peaceful relationship-building.
The wedding priest has a commanding audience but needs the skill to navigate a big inter-cultural divide and speak in the English language. He or she needs to be humorous, creative and articulate at the same time. These challenges are significant and very few are able to do so, and those who can command high fees today, showing their demand, especially in the peak season. Also in the audience are young Hindus who understand very little about their own Dharma, and experience negative stereotypes and views thrown at them. In their struggle to fit in at school and university, they deny their religiosity or ethnicity, and often end up confused and disoriented.
In Dharmic wisdom, a wedding is a union of two souls, witnessed by God, and blessed by both sets of parents, who represent the four pillars of the wedding mandap (mock hut). The songs and the music have beautiful rhythm and meaning, and I love listening to them and singing them. Sadly, this tradition of choral singing during the wedding is dying and few people know the songs by heart. They cover themes of kanyadaan (gifting of the bride), to the importance of the extended family and their blessings at the wedding, and the meeting of Ram and Sita who are the role model inspirational couple who served each other dutifully through all times, rough and smooth. Marriage vows embrace the seriousness of this celebration, and a long-term commitment is being made which should not be taken flippantly – it is a relationship for all of life.
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The ceremony combines both the joy and the commitment between two people, embracing the risk of the future, through the support of God as both witness and umbrella. For the audience, many of whom are already married, it is an opportunity to remind them of their commitment to one another and if there are existing tensions in their families, to try to rise above them.
The wedding is therefore a significant cross-cultural opportunity to educate and empower. When I attend a wedding hosted at the Oshwal Centre, which has a beautiful Jain temple and grounds, I take it upon myself to invite visitors to a free guided tour of the temple. The whole experience of the wedding arouses their curiosity about our Dharma, and this for me is an opportunity to explain the depth and breadth of Jainism, and go much further than the spelling of the word. My love for Dharma gets ignited by such opportunities as I feel it is our duty to show the positive aspects of our culture whenever we have the opportunity to do so.
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So when you attend that wedding this summer, reflect on its meaning and purpose, embrace its joy and colour, and use the experience to nourish yourself with the science and art of Dharma, and share this with your friends and relatives. Dharma is the rock which has built our beautiful family and community values, and helped us survive many trials and tribulations. The wedding is a joyful reminder of this heritage.
Professor Atul K. Shah [@atulkshah] teaches and writes about Indian wisdom on business, culture and community at various UK universities and is a renowned international author, speaker and broadcaster.